Jesus is Lord of all

This morning in church we sang this song, Jesus is Lord of all.

I sobbed as we sang, because the words reflect so well what has been on my heart lately.

All of my conflicts, all my thoughts-

Jesus is Lord of all.

I sure have had a lot of these this week, Lord! So many thoughts and conflicts in my heart.

His love wins the battles I could not have fought;

Jesus is Lord of all.

What words of hope are these! Your love and power wins these spiritual battles that I cannot fight. I often bear more resemblance to a limp dishrag than to Hudson Taylor.

All of my longings, all my dreams -

Jesus is Lord of all.

Longings for our children to have a "normal" childhood. Since I was young, I have dreamed of adopting children from another country. These things may never happen - but I know I can trust my Jesus through it all.

All of my failures, His power redeems;

Jesus is Lord of all.

All of my failures this week have been stamped REDEEMED. O thank You, Jesus, for giving me fresh starts and more opportunities.

All my possessions and all my life,

Jesus is Lord of all.

Suddenly I'm standing outside on a cold, windy day. Listening to the rise and fall of the auctioneer's voice, feeling a twisty something in my stomach and tears in my eyes. Looking at drills, desks, and dolls. Wedding gifts and wood working tools. Plates and pillows, beds, blankets and books all await their turn.

You just don't realize how much your stuff means to you, and even defines you, until its all going away. That day was so hard, Jesus. Its still hard to think about.

This week, I found myself again giving up. Yearning to see the twinkle in my dad's eye and feel his big hug. Longing for the laughter, the warmth of sharing with my sisters in Christ.

Is it worth it? I have pondered this question often lately.

I got my answer today. Jesus is worth it all! Rachel.